Memorial to Lost Students and Old Room

How do you say goodbye? You smile, you act like it doesn't matter, you wish them well. But inside you're wishing you could hold onto them, you're crying "Don't go yet!" and "Remember these years, it doesn't get any better than this!" Is there anything more inspiring than seeing a ten-, eleven-, or twelve-year-old walking out into this big ole world, full of confidence, ready to take on whatever life has to offer?! They are just precious, these little people I've gotten to know this past year. And every year the grieving is a little different. Some times there are people I hope I NEVER see again, but other times there are a few I'd like to take home and keep. But they wouldn't stay the same, and they're not mine, really. It's just part of life's journey to say goodbye, send them home, and see what the next "tide" brings in.
I have also said goodbye and good luck to a colleague who is retiring. She just can't stop smiling, and that is beautiful. She's been a real inspiration to all of us, and we wouldn't hold her back from her much-deserved rest, but we DO want to see her again. Like the real athletes I watched a few weeks ago finishing the marathon without too much pain on their faces, she walks around smiling, attending all meetings and contributing to all discussions about routine tasks. I truly admire her and hope my leaving can be as painless and calm as hers.
A different type of goodbye is happening around me, too. Some acquaintances have said the final goodbye to parents this past week. I know of three young people and one who is older than I (my nieghbor and good friend) who have each lost a father or mother within the past week. I hope I shall be able to cross that bridge whenever it comes in a calm way. But I hope it isn't any time soon. My close friend has kept her parents in her home and taken such good care of them. She will be sad, but feel fulfilled in having done her best to keep her parents healthy and comfortable in the end. My sister-in-law has also lost her father recently. Our walk goes on...
At this time of moving in and out, I am bidding another kind of farewell to the room I've used for the past two years and the building I've shared with colleagues and students for the past ten years. It's only a temporary goodbye because we will return next year after the remodeling is done. It's just scary, in a way, to wonder whether it will be the same when we come back. I can't feel that sadness completely, yet, because I still have a LOT of packing to do! Like those world travelers who must carry only what they need on their backs and like those traveling "out of this world" I can't take it (all) with me! The decision-making is hard, about what to keep and what to trash, but somehow I'll muddle through...
Speaking of lost students, we've welcomed home our youngest son from a difficult year at law school. He hasn't lived here for any length of time since August of 2003, so we all have a lot of adjusting to do. We're so glad to have him around again with his easy-going, friendly nature. While we ache for him with all the decisions he must make, we are glad to have a safe haven for him to rejuvenate and prepare for whatever lies ahead. He's just hoping that we'll buy some food soon (we don't keep chips and cookies around any more) and feed him!
On the other side of my life are my parents. They hope to move soon, and we are all praying about just where they should live. I'd love to have them closer, but I don't know what is available in housing that would suit them. That will be my quest in the next few days before I go to visit them in Texas.
So this Memorial Day is special in a way. The end of one era, the welcoming of another.
In August, I'll unpack boxes in a different building and hang curtains and meet another room full of eager faces. I'll work with new colleagues on new projects. There is hope in sealing these boxes full of teaching materials. And there is hope is saying goodbye to this ancient heating system and rotten window sashes. A phoenix will arise out of these ashes. Personally, I have hope that I will learn from any mistakes I've made this year, that I'll be better in my chosen profession.
There is hope in Mom and Dad looking for new housing. Mom can slow down a little, and they can feel better about their spending.
And I hope that our son will find his place in the grand scheme of things. It will all look different just one year from now. It's just hard to picture it.
We had a great time yesterday with Sister Rose and Brother Paul around the pool, watching dogs play, making stepping stones, and eating great food. It was a golden afternoon, very relaxing! Happy Birthday to the twins and their spouses!