Memorial to Lost Students and Old Room

How do you say goodbye? You smile, you act like it doesn't matter, you wish them well. But inside you're wishing you could hold onto them, you're crying "Don't go yet!" and "Remember these years, it doesn't get any better than this!" Is there anything more inspiring than seeing a ten-, eleven-, or twelve-year-old walking out into this big ole world, full of confidence, ready to take on whatever life has to offer?! They are just precious, these little people I've gotten to know this past year. And every year the grieving is a little different. Some times there are people I hope I NEVER see again, but other times there are a few I'd like to take home and keep. But they wouldn't stay the same, and they're not mine, really. It's just part of life's journey to say goodbye, send them home, and see what the next "tide" brings in.
I have also said goodbye and good luck to a colleague who is retiring. She just can't stop smiling, and that is beautiful. She's been a real inspiration to all of us, and we wouldn't hold her back from her much-deserved rest, but we DO want to see her again. Like the real athletes I watched a few weeks ago finishing the marathon without too much pain on their faces, she walks around smiling, attending all meetings and contributing to all discussions about routine tasks. I truly admire her and hope my leaving can be as painless and calm as hers.
A different type of goodbye is happening around me, too. Some acquaintances have said the final goodbye to parents this past week. I know of three young people and one who is older than I (my nieghbor and good friend) who have each lost a father or mother within the past week. I hope I shall be able to cross that bridge whenever it comes in a calm way. But I hope it isn't any time soon. My close friend has kept her parents in her home and taken such good care of them. She will be sad, but feel fulfilled in having done her best to keep her parents healthy and comfortable in the end. My sister-in-law has also lost her father recently. Our walk goes on...
At this time of moving in and out, I am bidding another kind of farewell to the room I've used for the past two years and the building I've shared with colleagues and students for the past ten years. It's only a temporary goodbye because we will return next year after the remodeling is done. It's just scary, in a way, to wonder whether it will be the same when we come back. I can't feel that sadness completely, yet, because I still have a LOT of packing to do! Like those world travelers who must carry only what they need on their backs and like those traveling "out of this world" I can't take it (all) with me! The decision-making is hard, about what to keep and what to trash, but somehow I'll muddle through...
Speaking of lost students, we've welcomed home our youngest son from a difficult year at law school. He hasn't lived here for any length of time since August of 2003, so we all have a lot of adjusting to do. We're so glad to have him around again with his easy-going, friendly nature. While we ache for him with all the decisions he must make, we are glad to have a safe haven for him to rejuvenate and prepare for whatever lies ahead. He's just hoping that we'll buy some food soon (we don't keep chips and cookies around any more) and feed him!
On the other side of my life are my parents. They hope to move soon, and we are all praying about just where they should live. I'd love to have them closer, but I don't know what is available in housing that would suit them. That will be my quest in the next few days before I go to visit them in Texas.
So this Memorial Day is special in a way. The end of one era, the welcoming of another.
In August, I'll unpack boxes in a different building and hang curtains and meet another room full of eager faces. I'll work with new colleagues on new projects. There is hope in sealing these boxes full of teaching materials. And there is hope is saying goodbye to this ancient heating system and rotten window sashes. A phoenix will arise out of these ashes. Personally, I have hope that I will learn from any mistakes I've made this year, that I'll be better in my chosen profession.
There is hope in Mom and Dad looking for new housing. Mom can slow down a little, and they can feel better about their spending.
And I hope that our son will find his place in the grand scheme of things. It will all look different just one year from now. It's just hard to picture it.
We had a great time yesterday with Sister Rose and Brother Paul around the pool, watching dogs play, making stepping stones, and eating great food. It was a golden afternoon, very relaxing! Happy Birthday to the twins and their spouses!

new horizons

Very interesting. Someone who has been my mentor for the past ten years is retiring this year. I have leaned on her for knowledge and the answers to all kinds of questions in my teaching field. I knew she was close to it, but didn't guess that it would be so soon. My principal told me today as he was explaining what is going to happen to me this coming year. I am going to have 80 students this Fall! Now, some would say "That's way too many!" since they're all very needy and practically at risk. But I am SO thrilled! That is what I love to do, and I just can't wait!!
See, it means that he can't make me teach OTHER things either! And it guarantees me a position in the building without having to travel to other schools. It's very exciting.
Although, looking back through the years, when we had 50-60 kids, I had another person helping me. And the year we had our all-time high of 90, there were two of us, and it was only a 7th-8th grade school back then. Now we are 5th to 8th and there will be only little ole me.
Thank goodness I've always wanted to "change the world". Now, I just sit here and the world comes to me for their "tune-up". I'm just so excited! What a challenge, and right up my alley! I will need to back off from other commitments. Just focus. And breathe.
He also asked me to arrange for a good person to come and do some In-Service with our faculty. I can do that. My bud Janet should be willing. She's the best in town.
Well, that's the news. Gotta go cook some supper for the mighty runner. My new rose bush got a good soaking with the passing thunderstorms. Blue skies ahead!

home stretch

I see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I DON'T think it's a train coming at me. There are only 12 1/2 days left with kids + 1 1/2 of teacher work time. I got three boxes packed today. I am allotted 30 for my whole room. We're all moving out of our historical building into another old school building so that they can renovate ours. They SAY it will take one year. I wonder...
The big project which I'm working on for the principal is coming along. I spent last Thursday at school from 7 a.m. to 5:15 p.m. typing almost the whole day on it. It is a notebook which we have to present to a higher authority, showing all the progress we've made toward our goal. It will be about 75 pages thick when we get through. He does parts of it, and I do most of it.
This weekend was nice. We went to a movie on our way home Friday night. Tom Cruise did a good job in his latest, MI:3. We didn't want to tell the boys or they would rush out to see it and neglect their studies. Saturday I went to a baby shower for "Princess Porter" whose parents go to church and have twin boys already. She will be a spoiled little girl, I'm sure! Then, Sunday I attended another shower, this time for a boy due to a co-worker. Both places were a good 45-minute drive away. I was really glad to get in on the passenger side today and leave the driving to David.
Last night we sat down by a young couple. He kept talking to her during church, and it sounded like he was explaining things during the sermon. I thought she had an accent of some kind, but I couldn't put my finger on it. (And I'm usually pretty good at that, since that's what I do for a living.) We asked them out for dinner to our newest Mexican restaurant in town, and found out that they both graduated from the nearby Christian university a couple of years ago. She's from Romania and knows a guy who David knows from Arlington. He taught her several years ago. She grew up as an orphan, but was adopted by a family. She's very sweet. He's from Texas, but enjoys living here. They just moved out our direction a few months ago. We encouraged them to come more often, and we think they will. He's teaching a class somewhere else, so has to complete that duty.
Tonight we visited with our neighbor Janelle (she was out in the yard) who has taken up the sport of bike riding in a big way -- she rode 60 miles this past weekend. She's bought herself a new tent and plans to ride and camp out this summer. Her husband is tagging along, but not riding yet. He walks 4 miles a day since he's retired. It was really good to see them again.
Also, my honey helped me plant my new rose bush. Laura picked it out for me several weeks ago. Should be beautiful. Can't wait. I'll show you a picture if it lasts. My last rose died, but it survived about 4 years.
I've about decided that I won't plant tomatoes this year. It really makes me sad not to, but last year was very disappointing. And I'll be gone a couple of weeks when they'll need tending. Just better not start it. Besides, Albert, our neighbor across the back, always grows plenty. He knows what he's doing!
Had some more good therapy this afternoon. It's still swollen, but I'm able to do more every day. A week ago I wouldn't have guessed I'd be packing boxes and lifting things like I did today.
Mom and Dad seem to be doing well. We're all looking forward to the party in June. Got my ticket last week to fly there. I'm so glad it wasn't that hard to arrange.
Well, gotta get going early tomorrow. Take care and keep in touch.